2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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