yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
