There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
