Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
