i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
