She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we're chasing vodka with high fives
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
