He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
