It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
