Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Girls should come with a carfax report
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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