hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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