i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
