You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I could make wine with my vomit
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
