I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
did i walk over a car last night?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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