someone get that fucking seahorse.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
