ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
