I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
