Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
wanna go halves on a baby?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
