Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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