Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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