kristin has been a bad kristin
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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