I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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