I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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