bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
