also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
