I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
