he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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