White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You are a genius and a whore.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
