May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
