i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize