hotel room ftw
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
