He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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