her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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