You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
