Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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