i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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