I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize