I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I deserve this hangover.
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