Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to sanitize my soul.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
