you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
