Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
