You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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