your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Operation Purity has been aborted
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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