i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have aggressive nipples.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
