Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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