The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
