How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
