K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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