tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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