That's intense
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
