you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
