Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
