At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
