Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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