i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
