There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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