you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
